Twists and turns.

As a first time Mum, I had all these grand ideas in my head of what kind of Mum I’d be. What I’d do and what I wouldn’t. I had a very specific birth plan that I really hoped would work out (waterbirth, TENS, Gas & Air and, god forbid, no other drugs). My baby was going to wear cloth nappies, I was going to just breastfeed, I would only feed him/her homemade organic food, I’d never allow him to get into a routine of falling asleep on me and of course he’d sleep in his lovely moses basket/ crib/ cotbed. I’d try to use a sling but I’d have a pram as well, I’d never even vaguely consider elimination communication and I did think that attachment parents were making rods for their own backs. Whilst I wanted to be close to my baby and nuture him/her as much as possible, I wanted him to ‘learn to self settle’.

Oh god. Things have changed. My perspective on many things, including the above has altered HUGELY. It’s amazing how utterly unprepared you are for such a little, teeny person invading your life, albeit in an amazing way that you wouldn’t change for the world.

Luckily, for me, a lot of things I wanted to do have worked out. I got the birth I wanted, even though (apparently) I did yell that I wanted a ******* epidural at the time when my son’s head was crowning. Yup…that was obviously not going to happen! I was very lucky – there’s only one waterbirthing pool in our local hospital, and I got it. Lots of other ladies aren’t so lucky. I was also incredibly fortunate that there were no other complications at birth, although Monkey will have to have a little operation when he’s older.

Yes, I got to (so far) use cloth nappies on my little one, although I have had to use some disposables at night due to the thicker night nappies making his reflux much worse. I wasn’t a happy bunny when that happened, but it wasn’t the end of the world.

Breastfeeding has been a huge struggle for me and I’m now in the amazing position where not only is Monkey pretty much exclusively breastfed, I’m actually managing to pump and freeze a good amount for sending to nursery with him. I still have some prescription lactose free formula just in case, but thanks to the amazing support that I’ve had from my local breastfeeding specialists, I’ve managed to achieve that goal.

As far as food is concerned, yes I do actually mainly manage to give Monkey homemade stuff. But a few (organic) pouches of food have crept into his diet and I’m fine with that. I was originally going to do just Baby Led Weaning, and I was very passionate about it – but after the specialists told us that he needed some purees/ porridge to help with his reflux, I did relent and there was a massive improvement. He loves his food and is really starting to enjoy playing with finger foods now, which is great. Seeing him shove a stem of broccoli into his face is hilarious and he adores sucking on French toast! Sometimes being a bit more relaxed about things is better and I’m happy with the balance that I now have. I did beat myself up about not doing pure BLW, but he’s happy – so I am!

Attachment parenting is a whole other issue! After Monkey was born, Mr Clothbum and I went with what felt right after struggling with a baby that just would not settle, no matter what we did. We soon discovered that he had very bad colic and reflux and that cosleeping, with him in a more upright position, was the way forward. And we haven’t really looked back. Monkey does go into his cot at night but in the early hours of the morning he’s usually in with us, cluster feeding on Mummy. It works – brilliantly – and we both love having our baby so close. He’s gradually learning to settle himself but it’s a slow process and we’re fine with that too. He’ll get there – when he’s ready.

I know that it means that he won’t go easily to others overnight at the moment, but that’s really not an issue for us. We have no family that live near us, so there’s no one that Monkey will be going to stay with on his own, really. Also, as a breastfed baby – its easier to keep him near me anyway. Then I don’t have the hassle of expressing more than I need to.

Since having him I’ve started to read more on the subject and found that a lot of the things that we’re doing (that I had no name for) are linked to the work of Dr Sears (and attachment parenting – yes, I really had no concept of it before!) His way of thinking, in my book, is well worth a read and I also absolutely love Mayim Bialik (she used to play Blossom). Her approach to parenting is a very refreshing one and one that sits very well with me. There’s a bit of a debate about her decision to circumcise her sons, but in my opinion, that’s her choice as a Jew. I personally wouldn’t circumcise unless there were medical grounds, but I’m not a religious person so I don’t want to judge others and their beliefs.

Elimination communication is another area that I’ve been reading into with a degree of fascination. I’m nowhere brave enough to attempt this, but I am going to start putting Monkey on a potty after his meals once he is stronger and more secure at sitting up. That’s the method that my mother-in-law, and other people of her generation, used with their children and lots of us potty trained much earlier than children do nowadays. But if Monkey does PT early – I’ll have to stop using my lovely nappies!

Food for thought!

Thumbs up or Thumbs down?

As I’m in the process of trying my best to get Monkey ready for nursery, there’s been something that I’ve been attempting (with very little success) to achieve with him.

Monkey is a bit of a thumbsucker, prefers a boob and will NOT take a dummy. They get chewed around the mouth, sucked for a few moments – just to make me feel as if he might be getting the hang of it – and then spat out, at high velocity, often pinging off into the distance!

Now, I know that the issue of thumb-sucking vs. dummies can be quite a contentious one and I have no wish to get into a huge debate about it. The problem that we have is that as he’s off to nursery, he’s not going to have me to nurse him for comfort and I’d much rather he didn’t turn to his thumb. At the end of the day, I can’t take a thumb away whereas I can take away/ wean him off a dummy. There’s also the orthodontic aspects of thumb-sucking where the dental development of a baby can be affected, as well as speech development to consider. I come from a dental family and I did have speech problems when I was younger, so you can see why I’d prefer a dummy over a thumb any day.

I just wish Monkey would! So, to try and coax him that perhaps, just maybe, a dummy might be ok for whilst he’s not with Mummy I’ve had a good look around to try and find different types and styles of dummies for him. We have pretty much every shape known to man and some lovely looking Hevea natural dummies on the way.

I had some success the other night, when he was dropping off during nursing and managed to pop a dummy in. He KEPT IT IN, which was fantastic and even fell asleep for a few hours, but when he woke up – ooooh he was angry!

So, as I said, most of our dummies end up spat out on the floor. Usually, bounced off to a part of the floor that one of our many cats has just sat on, which is…lovely. There has also been a few times where a dummy has become a bit of a plaything for a moggy! Keeping them clean is obviously, incredibly important and I was rather chuffed when the lovely ladies at Milton sent me over their fab new invention to have a play with.

It’s a little mini portable steriliser that you can strap onto your pram, buggy or even your changing bag. I use their products all over the house anyway – have done even before I had a baby. I think it’s because my Mum continued to use the big M after we were little and always had a bottle of it under the sink. There’s something about the smell of it that reminds me of my childhood!

When I’d unpackaged it, I realised that it was really easy to use. It has a outer watertight shell, two sponges (one big one and one thinner one with a hole it in) and comes with a strap and some mini sterilising tablets. You fill it to the fill line with cold water, put in the sponges and put a dummy in the one with a hole, giving it a twist to clean it. Then you screw on the lid and leave it for fifteen minutes to work its magic. Easy! The brilliant thing is you can use the solution repeatedly during the day, so dummies can be really easily sterilised if you’re out and about.

Have a look at their website here http://www.milton-tm.com/mini_portable_soother_steriliser.html to see how it works in more detail.

I set it all up and popped in a dummy before we went out on one of our walks to the park. The plan was to feed the ducks (although once we got there, there were no ducks to be seen!) Half way there, he decided that he wanted me. I KNEW that he didn’t need a feed so thought that I’d give a dummy a try. He was actually quite happy for about five minutes then it went pinging out onto the grass in the park. Now, normally I’d either wipe the dummy down with a sterilising wipe (I always forget to seal these things up properly and they’re always drying out in my bag) or give up, as I never remember to bring spare dummies with me. But, I had the one in the steriliser, so I just took that one out to give to him and popped the dirty one in to be sterilised for later. Simple!

I’ve got to say that it’s a nifty little bit of kit that’s actually very sensible. I’m not sure how much use we’ll be getting out of it as Monkey is resolute in his, “I hate dummies” campaign, but I hope that it’ll become a much more used item in our house.

Daisytheclothbummum was sent the Milton products to review but has not received any monetary payment or compensation for writing this review. All thoughts & opinions above are my own.